Lost Confessions
by NymphaTonksLupin
Summary: "Why didn't you show up?" Hermione asked. "Do you miss her that much?"/ "I didn't show up, because I didn't want to face Andromeda." Remus said./"Why?" Hermione asked. /"Because I can't face her knowing I never loved her daughter." Remus said./Remus and Hermione speak after Remus is MIA from Tonks' funeral. AU and yeahhhhh.


**Di****sclaimer:**_** I don't own Harry Potter. **_

_**So... This pairing... Kind of grew on me...**_

_**So, I am writing my first Hermione/Remus ship. (not sure on their ship name) ...it's just a oneshot... **_

"Remus? Professor?" Hermione called, knocking on the door to the flat. "Are you there?"

"What?" Remus said, throwing the door open. "Oh, Hermione. Come in."

"Remus, are you okay?" Hermione asked, following him to the living room and sitting on the couch.

"I'm fine. Are you okay?" Remus asked.

"Well, I just came from Tonks' funeral. Why weren't you there?" Hermione asked.

"Do you want some tea?" Remus asked.

"No, thank you." Hermione said. "Are you really okay?"

"I am fantastic, Hermione." Remus said.

"Why didn't you come to Tonks' funeral?" Hermione asked.

"How's Harry doing? Is he alright?"

"Harry's fine. Stop ignoring my question." Hermione said. "Why didn't you go to your own wife's funeral?" Hermione demanded.

"How's Molly, and all of the Weasleys? They must be upset about Fred-"

"YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE UPSET, REMUS. YOUR OWN WIFE IS DEAD, AND YOU MISSED HER FUNERAL!" Hermione found herself standing and facing him, yelling. "Remus, please. Tell me. What's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong, Hermione." Remus said. "Voldemort is dead. Everything should be happy."

"But Tonks is-"

"Dead, yes." Remus said. "I saw her die. I know she is dead."

"Remus, why didn't you show up for her funeral?" Hermione asked again. "Do you miss her?"

Remus looked away from Hermione, down to the floor. "Of course I miss her." Remus said.

"Why didn't you show up?" Hermione asked. "Do you miss her that much?"

"I didn't show up, because I didn't want to face Andromeda." Remus said.

"Why?" Hermione asked.

"Because I can't face her knowing I never loved her daughter." Remus said. "I've lied my way through a marriage since last June, and I can't lie anymore."

"Lie about what?" Hermione asked, her heart speeding.

"I realised that I married the wrong girl the second I saw the right girl with someone else." Remus said.

Hermione stared at him. She was sure she loved him, but to Remus, would Tonks be the wrong girl while Hermione the right girl?

"And who is the right girl?" Hermione asked, anxiety rising.

"A very smart, charming and funny girl I met on the train to Hogwarts about 4 years ago." Remus said. "You, Hermione."

"Me?" Hermione asked. "But Tonks, I mean, why did you stay with her?"

"When I married her, I thought I loved her. It was at Bill and Fleur's wedding, when you were dancing with Ron, that I realised I didn't love her. I was planning to tell her, I really was. But, by the time I got the nerve to tell her, she told me she was pregnant. And everything Harry said made me realise that I should be there for my child. So, I went back to Tonks only because she was pregnant with my child. There was only once, the second Teddy was born, that I thought I could truly love Tonks one day if I tried. I mean, she had gone through so much to try and be with me, she carried my child, went through the labour and childbirth and constant hormone changes that caused her to not be able to hold a morph just because she loved me. I started trying to love her back, I truly tried. But I saw you at the Battle, and that just restarted the feelings I had for you. And you know what I felt when Tonks died?"

"What did you feel?" Hermione asked, her voice practically silent.

"The second Bellatrix's Killing Curse hit her, I actually felt relieved. Yes, there was a part of me that was heartbroken. After all, she was the mother of my only son. I feel terrible for it, but I know I could not drag her through a marriage where I would be lying daily." Remus said.

Hermione stared at him. "So, you lied to her? Instead of coming clean to her, and offering to still help out with Teddy?"

"I had to lie. I couldn't tell the truth. I knew she'd be heartbroken, even more so than when I was rejecting her." Remus said. "I love you, Hermione."

"I love you as well. I am quite sure of it." Hermione said. "But I don't think I could be with you unless you go to Tonks' grave, and confess all of this to her."

It was Remus' turn to stare at Hermione. "I could try that if it means you would give us a chance." He finally said.


End file.
